Misunderstanding

 

At some point in life I’m sure all of us go through this (Especially those who have friends.) It takes a long time to build good friendships but only a small confusing or tricky situation to break the friendship. It would be foolish to blame God for the wrong things that happen because it is we who do it.

Misunderstandings are an intrinsic part of life. At some point of time, you will be misunderstood or misjudged for what you do. However this doesn’t mean that we stop doing good or carry on the work that we were doing. If we stop doing good or what we are convinced about, then we are merely conforming to a particular set of judgments made by people and giving more importance to peoples opinion rather than doing what is right.

We do good not because we want something from it or because we have some gain but because we are convinced that it is good and needs to be done. However on the other hand if we go according to public opinion we will find that we are confused because each person’s opinion is different from that of the other.

Coming back to misunderstanding in the topic of friendship, I would like to mention two incidences of which I will also give my learning’s from it. The first one goes thus. One friend of mine came to me and asked me for something that I wasn’t sure about or in other words didn’t feel right about. I told him that it wasn’t the right thing to do but he kept on insisting on having his own way. (This is what I feel breaks many marriages where a spouse doesn’t look at a situation from the others point of view and lays his/ her foot down on one’s own viewpoint).

I clearly stated to him that it wasn’t the right thing to do. (In life we need to speak to the point on things that we believe in). The funniest thing according to me was what happened from the next day onwards. He stopped speaking to me. I thought maybe he was sick or something else.

Whenever I used to walk I used to look at him, he had a sad long face and wouldn’t look at me. I said to myself clearly that the issue needs to be settled. I typed out a letter and gave him thinking that after reading it he might have some clarity on what actually happened and why I said what I said.

However, I think that letter had no effect and he hasn’t yet spoken to me. What I can do is only pray or maybe even some fine day take the first step. All this seems very funny to me (Especially not talking to the other person). It is obvious that all of us hold different beliefs and convictions but that doesn’t mean that I stop talking to the other because s/ he clearly states what s/ he believes in. We need to respect persons as persons and accept them as they are.

Never break a friendship for a few faults. Nobody is perfect and affection is always greater than perfection. Imperfections and misunderstanding will be many in our life, the important thing that we need to learn is how to deal with these situations. According to me time is the best medicine to heal all things. Every purpose under heaven has a time.

The second incident that took place is more of a serious type. It was two days since I was reflecting on how particular situations happen in life. When I was reflecting in these two I wasn’t relating much with others or in other words was appearing not so very happy. I was thinking deeply as to why certain people in certain situations behave in a particular way.

After having finished my mini reflection I needed some love or appreciation. The best way to get what you want is to give what you want and hence I was showering one friend of mine with lots of love in the form of fooling, teasing etc. 

At one point he got pissed off and instead of showing signs of affection and love which was what I was looking out for, he told me ‘Go and tell that to your mother.’ Obviously his face had become serious; I told him that if he didn’t like what I said he should tell me directly and not bring my family into the matter.

After that day I didn’t feel like looking at his face. When I finally got over the hurt I wrote a small note and passed it on to him. He returned it back within a second without even reading it. I thought to myself that it would be best to allow time to heal the situation or the person.

After all experiences that I’ve had up to now I thought that it would be better to have a ‘mind your business’ attitude so as to have no relations with anyone which will leave me hurt-free. However when I reflected on this thought that I had, I thought it would be better to be hurt by friends who are imperfect than live like a rock or an island. All are ‘works- in- progress’ including me and hence I need to forgive the wrongs that others do to me just God doesn’t tire of forgiving me for all the times that the sin against Him.

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.