At
some point in life I’m sure all of us go through this (Especially those who
have friends.) It takes a long time to build good friendships but only a small
confusing or tricky situation to break the friendship. It would be foolish to
blame God for the wrong things that happen because it is we who do it.
Misunderstandings
are an intrinsic part of life. At some point of time, you will be misunderstood
or misjudged for what you do. However this doesn’t mean that we stop doing good
or carry on the work that we were doing. If we stop doing good or what we are
convinced about, then we are merely conforming to a particular set of judgments
made by people and giving more importance to peoples opinion rather than doing
what is right.
We
do good not because we want something from it or because we have some gain but
because we are convinced that it is good and needs to be done. However on the
other hand if we go according to public opinion we will find that we are
confused because each person’s opinion is different from that of the other.
Coming
back to misunderstanding in the topic of friendship, I would like to mention
two incidences of which I will also give my learning’s from it. The first one
goes thus. One friend of mine came to me and asked me for something that I
wasn’t sure about or in other words didn’t feel right about. I told him that it
wasn’t the right thing to do but he kept on insisting on having his own way.
(This is what I feel breaks many marriages where a spouse doesn’t look at a
situation from the others point of view and lays his/ her foot down on one’s
own viewpoint).
I
clearly stated to him that it wasn’t the right thing to do. (In life we need to
speak to the point on things that we believe in). The funniest thing according
to me was what happened from the next day onwards. He stopped speaking to me. I
thought maybe he was sick or something else.
Whenever
I used to walk I used to look at him, he had a sad long face and wouldn’t look
at me. I said to myself clearly that the issue needs to be settled. I typed out
a letter and gave him thinking that after reading it he might have some clarity
on what actually happened and why I said what I said.
However,
I think that letter had no effect and he hasn’t yet spoken to me. What I can do
is only pray or maybe even some fine day take the first step. All this seems
very funny to me (Especially not talking to the other person). It is obvious
that all of us hold different beliefs and convictions but that doesn’t mean
that I stop talking to the other because s/ he clearly states what s/ he
believes in. We need to respect persons as persons and accept them as they are.
Never
break a friendship for a few faults. Nobody is perfect and affection is always
greater than perfection. Imperfections and misunderstanding will be many in our
life, the important thing that we need to learn is how to deal with these
situations. According to me time is the best medicine to heal all things. Every
purpose under heaven has a time.
The
second incident that took place is more of a serious type. It was two days
since I was reflecting on how particular situations happen in life. When I was
reflecting in these two I wasn’t relating much with others or in other words
was appearing not so very happy. I was thinking deeply as to why certain people
in certain situations behave in a particular way.
After
having finished my mini reflection I needed some love or appreciation. The best
way to get what you want is to give what you want and hence I was showering one
friend of mine with lots of love in the form of fooling, teasing etc.
At
one point he got pissed off and instead of showing signs of affection and love
which was what I was looking out for, he told me ‘Go and tell that to your
mother.’ Obviously his face had become serious; I told him that if he didn’t
like what I said he should tell me directly and not bring my family into the
matter.
After
that day I didn’t feel like looking at his face. When I finally got over the
hurt I wrote a small note and passed it on to him. He returned it back within a
second without even reading it. I thought to myself that it would be best to allow
time to heal the situation or the person.
After
all experiences that I’ve had up to now I thought that it would be better to
have a ‘mind your business’ attitude so as to have no relations with anyone
which will leave me hurt-free. However when I reflected on this thought that I
had, I thought it would be better to be hurt by friends who are imperfect than
live like a rock or an island. All are ‘works- in- progress’ including me and
hence I need to forgive the wrongs that others do to me just God doesn’t tire
of forgiving me for all the times that the sin against Him.
It
is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
